Rinato

Good things about today: Friday! Weekend! Woo. Third driving lesson tomorrow, and the driving instructor seems pleased with my progress. Went driving twice with Mum and Dad.

Bad things about today: Eyes. So. Tired. Too. Much. Pent. Up. Frustration. So. Much. Weekend. Homework. Aaaaarrgh. Exams in roughly two weeks, and we haven’t gotten our exam schedules yet.

I am just… Going through the motions. I feel like I need more ‘create’ time. We do have a photography exam, though, that tests our knowledge of colour, lighting etc. Hope that counts.

I need to write something.

I have a beautiful idea for a new design in my head. But, I can’t seem to get it out. It’s like it’s stuck in my eyes, and it’s latched on hard, I can’t cry it out yet. But, I can guarantee, when I do, it will be something that… I like, at least. But that isn’t really the point of it.

Someone I know is being, quite frankly, a bit of a fucker. I would explain more but it seems really stupid when I write it, and I just get angry that someone so unimportant to me can irritate me so much. Said person insists on hanging around with us all the time, making stupid jokes that no one cares about, and believing that their presence is one most highly valued amongst us all. I haven’t really told him that I wish he would take a hike, but instead we just spend the small amount of time that we’re in each others’ presence exchanging insults about whatever we can find. His insults are really lame, and for once my smart mouth comes in (sort of) handy, so it makes me even more annoyed that someone with a really blunt wit can push my buttons so much.

…Which I suppose just makes him more determined to piss me off, since I keep making him look like an idiot. I don’t know what it is about him that irks me, but I have a feeling it may have something to do with the fact that he’s completely up himself and, well, a suck up.

He also believes that War Is The Answer, which makes things especially difficult, just because of the fact that I’m a “damn pacifist”. Some days, I wish I wasn’t, but I really can’t imagine life any other way. What would it be like, believing that war can solve problems? “There is no way to peace. Peace is the way”- Gandhi.

Sorry. I’m just stressed. I can’t get angry. Anger just depresses me. The pacifist in me wants things to be quietly smoothed over, and all forgotten. No conflict. The stressed out exam-time girl wants to yell and scream and forget about consequence. I wonder what’s worse: Not being able to control your temper, or not being able to tell someone that you’re wondering what they look like with an axe through their head?

Buahaha! I’m on a roll. Avant-Garde and Breathings Of The Heart both have brand new shiny layouts :D! Yeah, yeah, yeah.

A girl in year twelve died yesterday. It’s quite scary. I didn’t know her, but I’ve heard of her, and it’s pretty shocking to know that someone you’ve probably seen a lot during school hours doesn’t exist any more. So, of course, there are counsellors and such to help her friends from school through it. I heard it when I went to our literature holiday class. There was only about six people there. One of the other students has a habit of not keeping her damn mouth shut, so there was enough talking for about twenty students anyway ;).

It’s funny what perspective can do. I was talking to a friend the other day, and we both came to the conclusion that “Everything depends,”. Everything depends on everything else. Which reminds me of the film I ♥ Huckabees now. But it’s true! For example, opinionated can be viewed in lots of different ways. Some people would say pushy. Some would say, well, opinionated. And some people would say that they aren’t capable of shutting up. It all depends on perspective. I find it incredibly fascinating :D. I could make a whole list on different things that can be viewed in many different lights, but I won’t. I will, however, say that nice, kind etc. can be viewed as ass kissage, sarcasm or just… Being nice. Funny, isn’t it.

Read the rest of this entry »