Coincidentally, I am hungry for curry.
(Totally random, but after checking the word count for this post (549) I realized that this would roughly be the length of an essay I would have to write in school, back when I was 11-13. I wrote it so quickly!)
In which I say the word ‘Indian’ a lot!
Yesterday I went to an Indian grocer to get something and the guy asked me a question in Hindi, probably trying to make small talk. I felt like an idiot because even though I am half Indian I don’t know a single word of any Indian dialect (I knew it was Hindi because my Mum and her sisters/brother often chat in Hindi so I learned to understand tiny bits of it, but anyway).
It is so pathetic. I would love to know more/have more pride in my culture, but I don’t! It’s not like my parents tell me to learn about India or England or whatever, but I feel as though I should know more about them because they are both awesome places. I don’t think they’d give a damn either way. This is especially true for my Dad because he jokes that I don’t need to try and learn about England since Australia’s practically a carbon copy of it, “Seeing as our national day is a celebration of Britain killing the language and culture of Indigenous Australians,”. Ha, ha. I guess that remark seems quite scathing, but it’s the way he says it…!
I’ve always felt more ‘guilt’ (I don’t think that’s the right word, but I couldn’t think of the right one) that I don’t know much about India because when people look at me they don’t think “Oh, random Anglo-Indian girl” but instead “Oh, random Indian girl”. It doesn’t offend me, because I look about as English as a Sari, but I would really love to know if people treated me differently if they knew I wasn’t all Indian upon meeting me (Which will never happen, but according to my best friend if I went to India everyone would know I wasn’t all Indian because of my nose and my skin tone: I have a distinctly ‘un-Indian’ nose and pretty pale skin for an Indian person (LOL, I thought of putting ‘In-Indian’ but it would just seem like you were in an Indian person. Which is another horrible though entirely.)).
Like this one time someone asked me for directions but he ‘checked’ if I could speak English before asking. Also, when I first met my best friend she wouldn’t shut up to me about the Indian cricket team, as she assumed that being a fellow Indian meant I was nuts about cricket (I find it really boring).
Another thought: I think I only care so much about being ignorant about my Indian heritage is because everyone expects me not to be. That said, I am sure I know more about India than the average non-Indian person… Which isn’t saying much. I don’t worry about knowing anything about England seeing as no one expects me to be particularly knowledgeable about it because of what I stated earlier.
Also: This whole thing doesn’t upset me or anything, just interests me. I’ve become immune to all racial insults directed at my Indian heritage, anyway! I think I’ve heard them all. Haha.
5 Comments
RSS feed for comments on this post · TrackBack URI · Permalink
Leave a Comment
HTML that is allowed is <a href="" title="">, <abbr title="">, <acronym title="">, <b>, <blockquote cite="">, <code>, <em>, <i>, <strike> and <strong>.
Kaylee Said,
February 1, 2009 @ 4:23 pm
I feel like I’m expected to know more about Egyptian things, too, but random people don’t expect it because I don’t particularly look Egyptian.
I don’t even understand cricket.
Steph Said,
February 1, 2009 @ 6:12 pm
It’s quite normal now I think..Loads of Indian gals at my school don’t speak a word of Hindi. Pakistani’s and Indians get along etc etc…And since you’re half Indian..well..let’s just say I’ve lived in Hong Kong for the last nine years of my life but my level of Chinese does not go beyond that of a primary schooler.
meh but my parents still criticize me la dee lah…On another note, the Indians at my old school WERE mad about cricket!
Rafia Said,
February 2, 2009 @ 4:55 am
I think that could get irritating.
I don’t like when people assume that I am Indian, that it’s the only thing I am. When they ask me where I am from, I tell them I am Canadian on purpose. That confuses the whole lot usually, but really I’ve only been to India three times in my life.
I’m full Indian, but I don’t speak Hindi and my Urdu is horrible, so don’t feel bad about not being able to speak any of the languages.
Do you watch Hindi films?
Reply: Haha, this is so weird. I’ve read your blog for ages and I never guessed that you were Indian! I don’t watch Indian films, just because they seem so cheesy to me and I don’t understand them. But I LOVE the 70’s action Bollywood films. So bad they’re fantastic!
Fashion Addict Said,
February 2, 2009 @ 8:02 pm
Oh I know the feeling! I’m Japanese, but I don’t much Japanese so it’s really awkward when Japanese people come up to me to chat and I can’t say anything back. But, yeah I totally know the feeling.
I really enjoy this blog! It’s my first time visiting, but I will be coming to visit more often!
Oh and I’m hosting a Valentine’s Day contest and I would love it if you entered! For more details, please visit my blog.
loan unsecured Said,
August 15, 2010 @ 10:03 am
Powerful post.