(Totally random, but after checking the word count for this post (549) I realized that this would roughly be the length of an essay I would have to write in school, back when I was 11-13. I wrote it so quickly!)

In which I say the word ‘Indian’ a lot!

Yesterday I went to an Indian grocer to get something and the guy asked me a question in Hindi, probably trying to make small talk. I felt like an idiot because even though I am half Indian I don’t know a single word of any Indian dialect (I knew it was Hindi because my Mum and her sisters/brother often chat in Hindi so I learned to understand tiny bits of it, but anyway).

It is so pathetic. I would love to know more/have more pride in my culture, but I don’t! It’s not like my parents tell me to learn about India or England or whatever, but I feel as though I should know more about them because they are both awesome places. I don’t think they’d give a damn either way. This is especially true for my Dad because he jokes that I don’t need to try and learn about England since Australia’s practically a carbon copy of it, “Seeing as our national day is a celebration of Britain killing the language and culture of Indigenous Australians,”. Ha, ha. I guess that remark seems quite scathing, but it’s the way he says it…!

I’ve always felt more ‘guilt’ (I don’t think that’s the right word, but I couldn’t think of the right one) that I don’t know much about India because when people look at me they don’t think “Oh, random Anglo-Indian girl” but instead “Oh, random Indian girl”. It doesn’t offend me, because I look about as English as a Sari, but I would really love to know if people treated me differently if they knew I wasn’t all Indian upon meeting me (Which will never happen, but according to my best friend if I went to India everyone would know I wasn’t all Indian because of my nose and my skin tone: I have a distinctly ‘un-Indian’ nose and pretty pale skin for an Indian person (LOL, I thought of putting ‘In-Indian’ but it would just seem like you were in an Indian person. Which is another horrible though entirely.)).

Like this one time someone asked me for directions but he ‘checked’ if I could speak English before asking. Also, when I first met my best friend she wouldn’t shut up to me about the Indian cricket team, as she assumed that being a fellow Indian meant I was nuts about cricket (I find it really boring).

Another thought: I think I only care so much about being ignorant about my Indian heritage is because everyone expects me not to be. That said, I am sure I know more about India than the average non-Indian person… Which isn’t saying much. I don’t worry about knowing anything about England seeing as no one expects me to be particularly knowledgeable about it because of what I stated earlier.

Also: This whole thing doesn’t upset me or anything, just interests me. I’ve become immune to all racial insults directed at my Indian heritage, anyway! I think I’ve heard them all. Haha.

I am not going to question my mothers sanity but I am going to mention that when she happened to stumble upon my tampons she asked me if I was a virgin.

No Mum, I’ve been having sex with tampons since I turned sixteen.

(Where I am it is January 1st so if it isn’t where you are yet I AM FROM THE FUTURE! Here I am telling you that so far 2009 is AWESOME.)

…A post about what I did in 2008 will be coming soon!

I know I should be genuinely concerned about Mums increased fondness for the word ’slut’ but, really, it’s just hysterical. Paris Hilton was on TV and she said, completely unprompted, “Ugh, she’s a slut,”.

My brother pumped his fist in the air and cheered: “Preach it Mum!”

(By this time tomorrow I’ll be in Sydney :D.)

Now playing: Shy Child - Drop The Phone
via FoxyTunes

This happens, without fail, every time we have a guest over: Mum gives us performance reviews.

Today someone came over and about five minutes after she left Mum turned to me, ready to give me my Performance Review.

“Melinda,” She began “I liked how you were chatty and sociable this time, but I wish you wouldn’t make M laugh because of jokes you made about me. She’ll start every conversation with ‘Hey, do you remember that dig your daughter made about you and your…?’. Well, it was better than the last time. You didn’t even talk then,”

“… Thanks Mum”

And then she wandered off, most likely to give my brother or Dad his performance review, or to evaluate her own performance. I bet she has review check lists she fills out after every guest has left. That makes a funny mental image.

It’s one of her cute quirks! While being slightly irritating at times, it makes me laugh and wonder how she got into the habit. I think I may subconsciously take her advice an ‘improve’ a little each time someone comes over.

Now playing: Jack’s Mannequin - Rescued
via FoxyTunes

I had a really scary dream in which I sat all of my VCE exams a month early and had a nervous breakdown in the examination room because I had all of my exams in a row and couldn’t remember anything. It was, well, a nightmare.

And then I ended up failing all of them. And that was the end. My only consolation is, uh… That definitely won’t happen in real life! Nope nope nope…

A photo I took of my cousin. Aww! She is very photogenic. I take masses of photos of her.