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Edit: Dood. I just totally fixed it thanks to Amanda giving me a cool link. Hallelujah! But I still don’t take that letter back. IE is causing too much trouble! I will put the new theme up sooooon, so soon.

Dear IE,

A long time ago, I used to be satisfied with you. I used to believe that you were the best way to use the Internet. In fact, I had never known that other browsers existed: I was completely devoted to you.

However, as time passed, I realised that there were better browsers that were not as half as demanding as you. I realised that I was actually behind and did not have a good browsing experience. Although we parted on good terms, I was much happier with my new browser. It was (And is) wonderful. I thought that this was the end of all the pain you had caused me.

But this was not to be. You are a naturally jealous browser, and I soon discovered that you wanted to make my life as difficult as possible. If you could not make me happy, you reasoned, then I would have no choice but to be upset.

When I code layouts, I do try to consider your feelings and make them compatible for you. But lately, you have become very difficult. You throw tantrums while other browsers display my layouts in near perfection. I do not appreciate this. I am not sure I can bend over backwards for you much longer.

This is your final warning! I am, desperately, asking for your co-operation. This is not a difficult task. I am fairly easy to please. All I ask is that you either imitate a better browser (Preferably Firefox), or commit an Internet form of suicide. That is all. It is not hard, is it?

Yours truly,
Melinda.

… If you didn’t get it, I am designing something rather smashing and it looks just fine in every browser other than IE. I would dismiss this and carry on my merry way, but the change is drastic: The sidebar jumps to the bottom of the page, so it looks horrible and my site is hard to use. I… Can’t tell you how frustrating that is! Ugh. I like the theme very much, and I am trying everything but it isn’t working. I am this close to deciding to sod the whole thing and apologize profusely to IE users in advance… While at the same time strangling them for using such a craptastic browser.

About two weeks ago, I was riding in the car with my four year old cousin in my lap. It was late (About 12:00) and we had a wonderful view of the sky and the stars shining very brightly. I said, pointing at the stars while tickling her tummy, “Look at the stars! They’re very bright tonight,”. She agreed.

About thirty seconds later she came up with “Look at the stars so that you can dream of stars tonight, and the sky will be full of glitter,”.

… I found that surprisingly poetic. From a four year old? Impressive! I said “That was incredibly poetic. You don’t know what that means, but you’ll find out when you get older,”

She just made happy bubbles and looked at the stars some more.

Ugh, I completely suck, don’t I? But I’m back! To make a long, boring story short: Something that was bugging me about my FTP finally made me crack it, so I decided to investigate and, instead of prevailing over The Ebil FTP Demon I instead crashed and burned and my head exploded and I vomited at the same time. I summoned the help of Higher Powers (again!), and after a few clicks and emails my blog is back on track.

The annoying thing about this is that I completely get WordPress… It’s just the installation I don’t get. I read and re-read the codex many times and tried and tried and tried (and tried), but for some reason I always managed to royally screw up somewhere along the way. Confounding, isn’t it? The whole thing makes me feel dumber than Jessica Simpson after she questioned the difference between chicken and tuna.

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I have a job interview on Thursday for the very glamorous KFC. The funny thing about this, is that about two months ago I was a part of this protest called KFC. It stood for Kentucky Fried Cruelty. Basically, the way that they kill the chickens that are sold at KFC is incredibly cruel, so I went with a bunch of people to hand out fliers that told everyone how awful their killing of chickens was. It was odd, because most of the people I were doing it with were vegetarian when, y’know, I’m not. So I had to fake it for a bit because, while I do love a piece of chicken just as much as the next person, the way they kill those poor chickens is pretty cruel. And, also, I think they would have beaten me up for not being vegetarian while at the same time doing their protest. I had Red Rooster later that day.

I have betrayed the chickens. It is a sad day indeed. But, well, I’m desperate for some cash. I just can’t tell my hippie vegetarian friends…

So, hopefully, all will go well, and I’ll be handling cruelly slaughtered chickens coated in a heart attacks worth of grease for money in my pocket! I’m not much of a KFC eater. That stuff is way too oily!

The manager I talked to seemed like a nice guy. He’s an albino. I did an aptitude test thing. It was pretty easy, but I kept getting distracted because one of the employees had a really cute butt, and he was wearing tight pants.

…

It was a nice butt, okay?!

Uhm, in other news, it is way too hot over here. So while everywhere else everyone will be frolicking about in the snow during the cheery Christmas season, I will be suffering from heatstroke.

And also: The new design is coming along nicely! I had to delve deep into the dark realms of CSS to achieve my result… AKA I had to play with opacity in IE in order to make things disappear, because that browser can be whiny little bitch. It steals peoples souls so that they are tricked into thinking that IE will reign supreme. When, in fact, it is the reliable open-source browsers such as Firefox that are dilligently working away to ensure that using the Internet, whether it be for pr0n or Hello Kitty merchandise, will be a hassle free experience. I want to make sweet love to that browser. Oh yeah! Oh, if only everyone could boycott IE…

Either way, cross browser compatibility will be miiiine!

Seriously, it scares me sometimes how anal I am about cross-browser compatibility. I get nervous when I have to switch browsers. However, thanks to the trusty IE tab, this is much less of a hassle.

I was asked the other day if I would rather be feared or loved. My answer?

That’s easy. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.

A bit like the way I am afraid of how much I love John Mayer and his sexy, sexy hair. They are actually two separate entities, did you know that? His hair is so awesome that it is actually considered a different being. Well, not ‘officially’, but… I consider it a different being! And that is enough for me.

And, last but not least, thank you to the pumpkins who said my (very, very short) story was good! ♥! It means a lot, as I am irritatingly insecure about my story writing (or lack thereof) skills.

Yeeeeeaaaahh, new theme. Is it lame that I get all excited every time I make one? Glee, fluidity! :D

Also, I watched Alfie (Starring the incredibly cute Jude Law) and it sucked. So. Much.It was like being dragged through three hours of Cockney accents, naked ladehs and underwear. Ugh. Sucky. The only thing good about it was Jude Law and Sienna Miller, who were both really nice to look at. Fortunately, I have borrowed the Science Of Sleep (Directed by Michel Gondry, who rocks my socks) and Nobody Knows, which won a ‘Festival De Cannes’ Best Actor Award. Also, it apparently is one of the saddest films in the known universe.

Except for that scene in The Wizard Of Oz where Dorothy first meets those horrible, orange, mutated creatures (Otherwise known as Munchkins) in their magical fairy land. I shed a tear.

I was walking home the other day with two friends and there was a dead cat on the side of the nature strip. It was ripped open or something. It looked as though a car had run over it, then the person realised they had just killed a cat, and shoved it out of the way to avoid being found out. Come of think of it, that cat was really big. More like a very small pony than a cat. It was also overweight. Hm. I saw it first, and started shrieking like a banshee, to which my friends went “Whaaa…?!” and they they saw the Dead Obese Feline and we all shrieked together, like the weird sisters from Macbeth if they had actually melted. I’m making too many pop-culture references! Arrrrgh!

To finish, I’ve discovered that I really really dislike it when people put nearly anything down to homophobia. “He’s against gay marriage?! Homophobe! Die, die, die!”. Which is actually pretty coincidental, since a day or so after I was thinking about this, I stumbled across this great article on Zombot.org. Which explains my point without any “Grrr!” and grinding of teeth between sentences. Woo-hoo!

I shouldn’t have blabbed about writing some articles and opinion pieces, because now I realise I have no time this weekend (It’s Friday again.). Nooooo! I feel like I’m breaking a promise or something.

I know, I’ve been dead for a long time, but it’s a very long story and I don’t have time to explain it now. Will explain ASAP.

Everything feels very rushed and pressured, but I’ll try and dabble in sitely stuff when I can. Also, for those of you who are icon!lovers, I made a whole bunch of new icons at Avant-Garde. I haven’t actually written the update yet, but I will get around to it. I’ve just done a lot of uploading.

A bit random but: I love WordPress. I love Wordpress. Why did it take me so long to Convert?!

And also: On the news one of our politicians was seen going to a strip club XD. We were watching it and Gerald snorted and Dad clapped and cheered loudly. Mum rolled her eyes and said “He’s just living vicariously through him,”.

This will be a little awkward, but I just wanted to thank all you darling muffins for being so, er, tolerant I suppose of my unexplained absense. To comment rotation peoples: If I had known that I would be away for a long time, I do declare I would have put them all on hold etc. It was sudden.

Song I am currently in love with: Andrew Bird- Fake Palindromes.

And a picture, because I also like looking at it. Although I’m not completely addicted to it or anything.

Goodbyeeeee!